500 Days of Kristin, Day 500: Dunzo

500 Days of Kristin, Day 500: Dunzo

Former Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari’s debut book Balancing in Heels comes out today. Don’t buy it.

This has been 500 Days of Kristin.

[Photo via Getty]

500 Days of Kristin, Day 413: RealityLASIK

500 Days of Kristin, Day 413: RealityLASIK

In 2007, while her high school nemesis Lauren Conrad starred on the wildly popular MTV Laguna Beach spinoff The Hills, Kristin Cavallari debuted a new reality show of her own. It was a nine-episode web series called RealityLASIK, which documented Kristin’s experience getting LASIK eye surgery.

Really!

According to a 2007 press release, the program was supposed to be a “breakthrough online docu-drama...which documents Kristin Cavallari’s pursuit of the latest in vision correction surgery and her decision to ultimately undergoing [sic] Advanced CustomVue™ LASIK with the IntraLase Method™.”

In the premiere episode above, Kristin tells two LASIK marketing professionals why she wants LASIK eye surgery. “Well, you know, I’ve been wearing contacts since I was in the eighth grade,” she says. “They’re just a pain for me to take them out every night, put them in every morning, you know, if I wake up in the middle of the night, I can’t see the clock, I don’t know what time it is. And I always get mascara on them...”

It continues that way for some time.

All nine episodes are still available on the Maloney Vision Institute’s website (Dr. Maloney stars as the LASIK surgeon on the show). One intrepid blogger recapped all the episodes in 2007, but before you read, please be advised that the recaps contain spoilers.

To give you a sense of RealityLASIK’s narrative arc, here is a list of the episode titles:

Episode 1 - My Vision
Episode 2 - To See or Not to SeeEpisode 3 - Does it Hurt?Episode 4 - Mother’s DayEpisode 5 - Second OpinionsEpisode 6 - Nervous TimeEpisode 7 - Reality LASIKEpisode 8 - Baby I’m AmazedEpisode 9 - Life After LASIK

The website Ranker.com lists Kristin as the 15th most popular celebrity to ever undergo LASIK eye surgery.

This has been 500 Days of Kristin.

[Photos via Getty]

500 Days of Kristin, Day 411: Kristin The Fabulist

500 Days of Kristin, Day 411: Kristin The Fabulist

Future published author Kristin Cavallari got her start on the mid-aughts MTV reality programs Laguna Beach and The Hills. She has attempted TV projects twice since then, first with the disastrous Get This Party Started, and later with The Fabulist.

Yes, Kristin Cavallari co-hosted an E! TV show about fashion trends called The Fabulist. It premiered on St. Patrick’s Day in 2014, and it was canceled in May, after eight episodes. Kristin didn’t even show up for the last two shows, according to TV Guide’s records. (She gave birth to her second child, Jaxon Wyatt Cutler, on May 7.)

The name of the show was never fully explained in promotional materials; as far as I can tell, E! execs just thought it sounded fun. Judging by YouTube clips of The Fabulist that still live online, however, the show itself was not. Here, for example, is a deeply confusing segment from the fifth episode in which Kristin, her co-host Orly Shani, chef Rocco DiSpirito, and a pained-looking Chrissy Teigen discuss the Sriracha “trend.” All agree, zombie-like, that Sriracha is “the little black dress of condiments” and “the Tom Ford of hot sauce.” Shani then reveals that Sriracha makes her husband’s “ass explode.”

She later added that co-hosting The Fabulist wasn’t too much work for her, in the grand scheme of things. “[For] the new show I just have to fly to New York once a week and film it, and I’m there only for a night or two, so it’s not too bad,” she said. “It’s an hour and a half flight from Chicago, and luckily the last couple of months that I’ve been busy my husband Jay, he’s been off work. It’s not the football season right now, so that’s actually worked out really well.”

Fabulist!

This has been 500 Days of Kristin.

[Photos via Getty]

500 Days of Kristin, Day 410: One Day of Lo

500 Days of Kristin, Day 410: One Day of Lo

Today we break from our regularly scheduled programming to check in on Lauren “Lo” Bosworth, the perennial sidekick from Laguna Beach and The Hills. She never achieved the same level of celebrity as Kristin Cavallari or Lauren Conrad or even Audrina Patridge, but lo, she’s still here. And doing ads for Crisco!

Lo promotes a lot of products, in fact: Pop Works & Company popcorn, Compeed blister pads, and, like Kristin, Philips Sonicare toothbrushes.

Here are some more facts about Lo:

She has a style blog called The Lo Down.She went to culinary school in 2013.She moved in with her boyfriend (this guy?) in October. She was one of 1o bridesmaids in Lauren Conrad’s 2014 wedding to William Tell. (Fact about Lauren Conrad: She married someone named William Tell.)

It is not clear if Lo has a day-to-day job, but she does put out a weekly podcast called Lady Lovin’. It is, per the iTunes description, “a talk show for all of the ladies (and gentlemen) out there dealing with the basic realness of life.” I listened to 1o minutes of it on my way to work this morning, and that’s all I have to say about that.

I saw Lo in person once, when I attended the LC Lauren Conrad Runway Collection for Kohl’s fashion show with Kelly Conaboy. Lo and I even had our photo taken together, if you can believe it:

500 Days of Kristin, Day 410: One Day of Lo

I’m not joking.

500 Days of Kristin, Day 410: One Day of Lo

That’s Lo, folks. Tomorrow, we’ll return to documenting the life of Kristin. For now, as Lo would say, “eat your Pinkberry and enjoy life.”

This has been One Day of Lo.

[Photos via Getty]

500 Days of Kristin, Day 407: Kristin Corrects Counting Mistake

500 Days of Kristin, Day 407: Kristin Corrects Counting Mistake

As we noted yesterday, Kristin Cavallari recently attempted to count down from 10 and failed. On Wednesday, she began a 10-day countdown on Instagram in order to give away signed copies of her forthcoming book Balancing in Heels. “Doing 10 days of signed giveaways for #BalancingInHeels!” she wrote. “Like this picture to enter to win a signed book. My publisher @rodalebooks will direct message the winner each day [confetti emoji].”

Everything seemed to be okay after that—for a time. On Thursday, Kristin posted a photo for “Day 9,” and on Friday, she posted a photo for “Day 8.” On Saturday, however, she got confused:

500 Days of Kristin, Day 407: Kristin Corrects Counting Mistake

Today she edited that post to read “Day 7.”

I guess today is “Day 6.”

This has been 500 Days of Kristin.

[Photo via Getty]

500 Days of Kristin, Day 406: Kristin Is Having Trouble Counting

500 Days of Kristin, Day 406: Kristin Is Having Trouble Counting

Former Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari began a 10-day countdown on Instagram this week. On Wednesday, she posted a photo of herself surrounded by copies of her forthcoming book Balancing in Heels with the caption, “Doing 10 days of signed giveaways for #BalancingInHeels ! Like this picture to enter to win a signed book. My publisher @rodalebooks will direct message the winner each day [confetti emoji].”

On Thursday, she posted a photo for “Day 9.”

And on Friday, she posted a photo for “Day 8.”

Today she got confused.

To be fair, today would be “Day 4" if Kristin had started the project by counting up from 1. But now everything’s all fucked up. Is tomorrow Day 6? Or Day 5?

I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

This has been 500 Days of Kristin.

[Photo via Getty]

500 Days of Kristin, Day 405: Kristin, This Is Disgusting

500 Days of Kristin, Day 405: Kristin, This Is Disgusting

I mean...

500 Days of Kristin, Day 405: Kristin, This Is Disgusting

Disgusting.

500 Days of Kristin, Day 405: Kristin, This Is Disgusting

What happened to LittleThings.com?

This has been 500 Days of Kristin.

[Photo via Getty]

500 Days of Kristin, Day 404: Look at All These Books

500 Days of Kristin, Day 404: Look at All These Books

Look!

What will Kristin do with them?

This has been 500 Days of Kristin.

[Photo via Getty]

500 Days of Kristin, Day 403: Kristin Blogs

500 Days of Kristin, Day 403: Kristin Blogs

Former Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari will soon be a published author, but today, she officially became a blogger. Momtastic.com—a blog about fantastic moms—published a listicle by Kristin titled, “8 Lessons I Want My Kids to Learn Before They’re Teens.”

Can’t say I recommend reading it.

This has been 500 Days of Kristin.

[Photo via Getty]

500 Days of Kristin, Day 400: Remembering Kristin’s Star Turn at the Academy Awards in 2014

500 Days of Kristin, Day 400: Remembering Kristin's Star Turn at the Academy Awards in 2014

Two years ago, Kristin Cavallari served as a fashion critic on E!’s red carpet pre-show at the Academy Awards. How’d she do?

The most comprehensive assessment of her performance can be found in the following Huffington Post article from that night titled, “Kristin Cavallari’s Oscars Red Carpet Gig Came Out Of Nowhere, Apparently.” It begins with the question, “Is that... Kristin Cavallari?”, and it ends with tweets like these:

Kristin noted in an Instagram post after the show that she “felt like a princess” in her dress, which is all that matters. She is not attending the ceremony tonight, so far as I know.

This has been 500 Days of Kristin.

[Photo via Getty]

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